the big ripper

I boast my hubbies skills as a "flatuent" artist......hence the title.
I will not lie, it is quite impressive the stench that he can produce.....but I don't appreciate it when he makes me smell them....
He also likes to do what he calls "hot boxing" it. Like right now, he's somehow convinced himself that trapping that putrid air under the blankets and breathing it in is a good idea.....
and now he's looking at me with innocent eyes, like his nasty farts don't matter.....ah shucks, he's just too darn cute. Besides, how many people give a quick "oh" after every fart, thats just adorable. I will put up with tearing eyes for just one hug. Either that, or never feed him riblets and asparagus again.....(the dinner was amazing kitchens!!! loved it!)

And the anonymous pictures below have a story, I was just so extatic I forgot to right it. This is the future home of Mr. and Mrs. Wiens, conviently located downtown. It's 750 square feet, which means we have to have sex 750 times to cover every square foot of the house. yaya!!!

Peace out everyone

(aren't you all glad I started posting again?)

bridesmaids

hello everyone.
So i realize that its been a while since I last wrote in here. I really don't know why, I just don't.
But now, the occasion calls for it.
Bridesmaid dresses....
yes, I may have bought some before, but i think i've changed my mind. I have a few different options, and I want everyones (especially you bridesmaids), opionions. Before I went with a deep teal blue color, however, I think im aiming towards more subtle colors now. I like either a rose color or beige.
Anyway, here are a few dresses I came across, let me know what you think.

Dress #1






Dress #2

Dress #3

wedding bells

the smell of flowers is almost overwelming, and i havent' even gone outside yet. NOW i understand the tourists allegiance to the floral print shirt. No one can get away with a floral print shirt and not look tacky, but for some strange reason, there is this annoying lure about them, I almost feel obligated.......not today, I've got alot of planning to do. Playing "typical tourist" can come later.

Aloha! hehe. Its fun to say that and feel authentic. I leave to maui today to plan me and jasons wedding!!!! Just me and my mom, mai tais, and venues.
And just so you all have a taste of the possibilities.....



the sheraton hotel


Nice hey!

Im taking along a video camera, so for those of you who are coming to this, come over to Jasons house on thursday nite!

i miss you jason.....

oreo cookies

i made them tonite

and you know what else

there awesome!!!!

which leads to only one thing

me....

being awesome

but thats obvious

tell you what

ill keep a few around

.....cookies that is

(the awesome cookies

that I made

because im awesome)

just for you

to arouse your tastebuds.

whats that?

IM BIGHEADED?!!!!!

thats it!!!

NO COOKIE FOR YOU!!!!

HA!

theres no talking yourself out of this one now

im on to your shinanigins

I already ate them all anyways

what?!!! now your calling me FAT?!!!!!

eat this !%^&*#



(stay tuned)

whoa.....thats deep

Intentional indifference....a viscious cycle of success succombing to curioiusity. I've got a good job, a great job in fact. Why then, would I start clouding my mind with thoughts of extreme change so prematurely? And now an even bigger question....why won't i let it? Security, thats why. I love how William Shedd puts it. "A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for. " I remember when i was little, being absolutely terrified of the dark. I always found it mind-boggling how a cute little teddy bear can morph into a gargantuent, teeth-baring, beast. But no matter how scared i would get, there was something about hiding underneath my blankets that made everything safe. Cause really, what fearism creature would DARE pull back the covers....
Thats how I often feel now. Secure in my safe haven, underneath my blankets. Overtime it becomes intoxicating, and im left feeling uncomfortable and alone. All i have to do is pull back the covers and take in a deep breath of new fresh air. But why is this such a difficult thing to do? Seeing the situation, in every sense of it, it seems silly not to pull back the covers. But then, if you do, your left staring into a dark abiss, almost more terrifying than exciting.
You can call me a wimp. But i like to think of myself as a risk taker. I've done my fair share of spontaneous leaps of faith. But there are times when i seriously have to question my motives. Is there such a thing as the right time when it come to indecisive career planning? And where do you draw the line between selfish and selfless ambition, when material gain holds no merit? I understand how small of a pothole this is in my life, but i really don't want to get stuck in it. Do i go along for the ride, which is working for me right now, or do i get off and go thrill seeking? Now im getting carried away in metaphors, and probably making little or no sense at all. And being undeniably cheesy in every way, i know. But when i get down to the bare essentials, its a habit.
Perhaps this is a selfish persuit of something non-existant. Like high school relationships. The first boy you ever date always seems to be a great one. Perfect in every way. But you haven't experienced anything different. Maybe what you think is great for you now is merely scraping the surface of what greatness really is. Then you dump him, date another guy, and realize that the first was so much better. Like the "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. I always figured this statement to be selfish.....until it applies to you. And now it would seem im a hypocrite.
Don't jump to conclusions now, my discrepincy is not rooted in relationships. Im quite twitterpaited over my man Jay.
I just feel that life is all about searching for purpose. And just when we find it, when we utilize it for all its worth, it keeps going, its annoying that way, and quite often a tiresome persuit of fufillment. (I want to use the word fullfillment lightly because many aspects of life can account for such a thing). The truth is, we will always persue purpose. It can take on many forms. And its great when we attain it, and use it the way God intended. But wait, im not done with you yet. Get out of your comfort zone.....because i've got something else up my sleeve.
Just like hide and seek. You search everywhere for your goal, to find what you seek. And once you find it, you feel so accomplished. Until the game starts again. And now im back to where i started

counting

1....2.....3......4....

more vancouver ferry pics

kristy was having a good time......really



oh my booze hound ;)



i don't think there was one picture of me NOT laughing



yay independant Canada!!

so i heard the storm warnings
wasnt totally sure what to expect
but hey
I have an umbrella, that will suffice
.....
ERR WRONG!!!!!

now i wasn't sure what was worse, walking through massive streams of water that splashed up dirt whenever cars drove by, or being belted with marble sized hail. (my umbrella tore after 10 minutes)

that umbrella was brand new too......

my feet hurt (never run in cowboy boots)

the predatory wasp of the Palisades is out to get us!!

update
does anybody want to watch "Whats Eating Gilbert Grape" with me tonite? I have tostitos :)




Listen.
hear that?
that is the sound of nothing. My roomate and boyfriend have gone hiatus, and besides the relentless sun blistering my skin, im all alone with the humming of our gargantuant fan. I may be making it out to be more pathetic than it actually is, seeing as I spent my long weekend in VANCOUVER partying on a ferry!! That is a hard act to follow. But I'm afraid to say that I thoroughly enjoyed my time spent in that vegetated wonderland, with its half-million dollar condos and over-the-top transvestites. I say afraid because my mind has started to sway towards settling in that city by the ocean. I used to think my devotion to calgary was not easily moved, but after seeing the excitment in Jason's eyes when we first spoke of settling there, made me change my mind. It's entire atmosphere is what feels like home to me. Im an artsy fart, classical music buff, and the opportunities for me to persue design on the coast is endless. And Jason's a born-and-raised BC boy, although after spending most of his life in Hickville, that perception of him has probably changed. A few of you are probably excited at the thought....Mike & Ashley or Kristy & Ryan....but don't think I haven't thought about those of you who would still be back at home......Ashley & Kevin, Lisa & Chris, Jason & Erin (although you two are determined to make root in Lethbridge). So im left to ponder, with my fan-a-blazin, and the sun-a-bakin, typing away the time tell I fall asleep and ready myself for another work week. I expect another sleepless night, at least there's no crows nest outside my window.....


a bunch of asian ladies had a crush on jason while we were on the ferry, so they all took pictures of him. I thought it was great seeing jay blush. Here is one with both of us.

bad news folks
turns out i can't come to woodbury anymore....:( !!!!!!
the bosses are out of town the same week as the trip, and seeing as I'm one of the only ones that knows how to do everything at little rock (im not being bigheaded, i seriously am the only one), I need to stay back and hold the fort.
i hope you guys have a blast though!!!
and someone can use my inflateable STARFISH to bask in the glorious sun with! its large, yellow, and realistic.....it says so on the box.
im going to go sweat all over the place now!
Im totally a winter child. I just want to get back to the hill. Its so much easier to dress up warmly than to shed off the clothes.

you know what else sucks? having two mosquito bites on your foot! that annoying ich that pulses inside your shoe! its annoying!!! There isn't mosquitos in winter

Oh, and for all you guys who demand my site be changed....you should be thanking me for providing you all with a winter escape!!!!
thats right.
thanking me!

the campgound of blinding....light?

yay folks, im back from the wilderness.
My hair is greasy, my clothes smell like campfire, and my freezer is stocked with leftover tofu dogs and veggie burgers. I wish weekends lasted longer than two days. Who decided that weekends should only be two days of the week anyway. Society could easily maintain economic stability on a 4 day work week. Sure you would have to cut corners here and there, but pay people enough to compensate for that extra day, it can happen.....in a perfect world....
I have yet again, been adorned with birthday blessings from my parents. As it stands, I am well on my way to being prepared to survive the wilderness for at least a few years. I've recently been equiped with a fishing rod, tackle & bait, licence, cooler, sleeping bags, and a sandwich cooker (for the campfire). I felt bad for putting Jason to shame in this area, but he has easily matched me (some may even say out-do me) for his purchase of the "theatre spotlight". This flashlight brings truth to the phrase "bigger is better". Not only can you blind your fellow neighbour, or flag down the Calgary Police Chopper (don't ask), but it makes for a great conversation starter.
"HOLY SMOKES, you could light a match with that thing"
"how bright is that"
"15 MILLION CANDLE POWER"
men in unison "whoa!!!!"

Theres no beating that.

So after an eventful camping trip to Beauveai Lake, the campground with two suns, I headed down to Lethbridge to meet up with jason at his parents house. So I know most of you have stories of how you've walked in on Walter Weins going to the washroom, or perhaps walking in his tighty whities, but hear me now......I beat you all!
I walk into their house and i hear the shower going. I assume its Jason, getting all nice and ready to see me (I assume to much i know ;) ). I continue unpacking my belongings from my parents car when i hear the shower stop. I approach the bathroom door, ready to knock, and the door swings open.............so it wasn't Jay. Fortunatly enough Walter had a towel covering "parts" of him, but I saw definite cheek action.....
Theres something not right about the fact that I've seen more of Jason's ol man than I have seen of Jay.
....Im never going to live this down.

So its technically my birthday tomarrow. Most of my day will involve me working, but thats ok, 22 won't feel much different from 21. Just another day of the week. It never really kicks in tell way after the fact.

I leave to Vancouver for the long weekend too!!!! I get to harass my sister for 3 days. Im starting to go through withdrawal, im sure Jason experiences the blunt end of that. hehe. Im excited for the Canada day dance and party boat!!!!! Im ready to bust-a-moove. Feel it? Feel it?!!!!! "Now dip down waaaaay low"

Thanks for the wine erin!!!! It would have been great to accompany it with cheese and pickles.....but my body and tastebuds are constantly at war. So far my bodies winning......damn!!

My once beautifully pedicured feet are now a massacre of mud, blisters, and bug bites, with nicely painted toenails. Kind of like a hostile, abstract, picasso painting....messy with an underlying beauty.......I really don't like feet.....or picasso for that matter......im definitly a Monet or Van Gogh.

I really need sleep. My brain is functioning quite sporatically. I think it needs to shut down before it crashes........
anyone guess what i am? two letters.....P and C.
MACS RULE!!!!

the end

whats the dilly. fer rilly... mo nilly shirilly

Its my birthday in 5 days!!!!
WAT UP 5 DAYS!!!!
Work today was fun
"Thats the perfect shade of dark blue dark blue"
"isn't it though?"
"yes, it really is"
"ya....."
"......."
"maybe it should be red"
"ya, red is nice"


I gave myself a pedicure tonite. GLORIOUS CLEAN FEET..you know what they say..a clean foot creates a soft heart......

now everyone go buy me presents

cheers

guess what guys!!!
i got my own desk today. not just a little guy, I mean the full wrap around kind, and a new LCD moniter (i think to tame my MAC urges temporarily). I also have my own phone so the secrectary can page me. I finally feel settled. We have a girl coming in tomarrow to do some training for a day (just to see if she likes it). I love my work!!!!! LOVE!

its my birthday on the weekend. i would celebrate with you all's, but Im goin CAMPIN!!!! busting out all my camping gear (yes, i even have a coleman stove), and becoming one with nature. My recent gut attack has left me pretty handicapped towards anything involving fat, red meat, poultry, cheese, butter, milk, ICE CREAM, egg yolks, anything deepfried or skillet fried in fat, oils, mayonnaise, salad dressings, CHOCOLATE, olives, nuts, donuts, pastries, potato chips (unless baked), coffee, caffeine, alcohol, carbonation, artificial sweeteners, artificial fats, MSG, and im sad to say thats just skimming the surface of what i all can't eat. Its a good thing i like seafood or I would be pretty screwed. So my week is going to involve baking cinammon-zuccini bread, seafood pastas, and home made salsas. Don't feel bad for me though, Im actually enjoying this diet, other than the shot of aloe vera juice that i have to take every morning.....you can feel bad for me for that.

life on the c-train (cattle train)

"You smell something?!!!!"
"totally"
"it smells like subway!!!"
"it smells like rotting children!!!!!"

......the wise words of our emofied culture

So I saw an eyepatch on the ground when i was walking home today. It was disgustingly intriguing. Don't worry, I didn't pick it up...but I won't lie, a part of me wanted to put it on and pose as a pirate.

there's peas in my fudge

I remember there being times when i wanted to give up on Graphic Design. The combination of my inner perfectionist and lack of direction really drove me crazy. But now Im so glad I pressed on and endured countless hours of instruction and exams to end up with a tremendous job. Im hired on as a full time graphic designer!!!! This week i've taken over the other graphic designer at little rock while she is gone on holidays. I've really surprised myself. Normally an assignment that takes me 2 weeks to prepare takes me 2 hours. I've designed countless posters, brochures, cd's, and tradeshow booths, and its only been a week. My boss's have been so impressed with my work, minus a stupid typo error on my first job.....good thing it was a donation.....idiot!!! haha. They had a good laugh. My life is a joke sometimes. He is also getting new MAC COMPUTERS for us designers to work on. MAC COMPUTERS........MAC COMPUTERS!! i like those.
anyways, I just want to thank all of you who have encouraged me, whether it was by praise or criticism, I take them both in stride.
And now im craving some deer sausage that Rodd Laing made one time. Man, I'd be so screwed if I ever fully made the connection between adorable Bambi and delicious venison. Hey, Subconscious, keep up the good work.

you know what really sucks?
when you and your boyfriend plan a fun camping trip to kananaskis and the built up excitment gets you through your workday and then you plan all the different places you will go and rush home after work to meet up with him and get in his car and start gushing out all the plans you made and........."were not going".
the next two weeks at my work are going to be so insane. i have to take over for the graphic designer while she's gone on holidays, finish a hugely retarded job for a client that im dreading, and be trained to cover the csr manager while she's on holidays. I really need a break....and not just the stay at home and do nothing one, because that makes me feel more useless than relaxing. i wanted to sleep in my rad tent with the smell of pine and campfire in my hair, with a belly full of smokies and smores, and the sounds of a crackling fire and chirping squirrels, and all with a beer in hand.

if anyone wants to go camping with me now, let me know, cause I would much rather do that then spend my time doing nothing here in c-town.

I find parents these days have grown soft towards disciplining their children. Society portrays spanking as irrational abuse.....i call it beating the brat out of you. Im not sure how the rest of you guys feel about this issue, but i strongly believe that some parents nowadays are promoting little hell-raisers and not exposing them to the consequences of their actions. I understand that everyone wants to be "friends" with there kids, but you are a parent first and foremost. You will be friends with your kids....when there 20, but until then, you feed them, love them, and show them whose boss. I bring this topic up because yesterday me and Jason went golfing at a par3. We paired up with this one kid and his divorced dad, and we knew from the getgo that it was going to be interesting. Jason goes out to shake the kids hand, who was probably about 12 or 13, and the kid just looked at jay disgusted without shaking his hand. Im standing there like...."its called a handshake :|". So then we are tee'n off later down the course and this kid nails the ball towards us, the dad trys to stop it, recieves the blut end of the impact on his finger, and deflects it towards me and nails me in the leg. The father looks horrified, makes sure im ok as his finger has a huge imprint on it, and proceeds to say nothing to his kid. The kid snickers a little, and proceeds to comment some quip remark to his dad about it being his second time today being hit by the ball. THEN, later on, we come across a golf club cover. The kid picks it up and starts shouting at the players next to us who are trying to tee off "HEY, HEY PEOPLE, IS THIS YOUR SOCK!!!!! HEY!" ya...you don't do that in golf....even i know that. his dad just sits there sheepishly.
now you all might think im being a bit heartless on this issue, but if you think back to the time your parents busted out the wooden spoons or leather belts.....you know it made you never want to do anything bad again.
Now im not promoting child abuse by any means. No parent should abuse their rights as adults on helpless children. Im not sure why im going so gung-ho on this issue, but i feel its getting worse and worse as the years progress.
there's my two cents

Giant sticker fun

so after half-expecting my weekend to involve rest, mom love, and waking up to roosters in picture butte, I end up baking my back mini-golfing (and beating jay I might add), and flying through a wall of tires go-carting. I must say, burnin rubber with jays dad was a great bonding experience. I even got to ride his motorbike, and now I have this annoying itch to ride again. Brings me back to days on the farm bootin around on my little red honda 50.

a little fyi, if anyone wants to hang out right now, I will be melted into a puddle in the middle of my bedroom floor, ok? Oh summer nights.....where you sleep with the windows open, fans a-blazin, and lying on-top of your blankets with nothin but your skibbies on....sometimes not even.

You know what else spring is good for? GARAGE SALES!!!!! I landed myself a sweet pair of keds for $2, which i didn't even pay for, so from my point of view, they were free ;). Me and jay also came across a rare treasure.....a Dick Tracy Sticker book. Remember those old books you used to get with pages of stickers you could punch out, and then you place them on the pages corresponding to them? If you haven't heard of them before, maybe you should get out from that rock your living in.

Yes, jay is on his way with slurpees and chocolate.....he really is perfect. I hope maybe one day soon the chocolate will turn silver and shiny and diamondy and......non-edible.....:)

Oh, I special ordered the TV serious Dinasours. Envy me

reason #43523 why guys are hopelessly flawed

you know whats retarded
guys who think they have balls to shout out cat calls towards a girl while wizzing by in their car at 60km/hr.

"...eeeeeeeOWwwww...."

she stands there unsure of whether it was a guy she heard or a bad muffler

his friends probably have a good laugh, throw arounda a few high fives and say "yo man, she totally winked at you".....

LAME!