I find parents these days have grown soft towards disciplining their children. Society portrays spanking as irrational abuse.....i call it beating the brat out of you. Im not sure how the rest of you guys feel about this issue, but i strongly believe that some parents nowadays are promoting little hell-raisers and not exposing them to the consequences of their actions. I understand that everyone wants to be "friends" with there kids, but you are a parent first and foremost. You will be friends with your kids....when there 20, but until then, you feed them, love them, and show them whose boss. I bring this topic up because yesterday me and Jason went golfing at a par3. We paired up with this one kid and his divorced dad, and we knew from the getgo that it was going to be interesting. Jason goes out to shake the kids hand, who was probably about 12 or 13, and the kid just looked at jay disgusted without shaking his hand. Im standing there like...."its called a handshake :|". So then we are tee'n off later down the course and this kid nails the ball towards us, the dad trys to stop it, recieves the blut end of the impact on his finger, and deflects it towards me and nails me in the leg. The father looks horrified, makes sure im ok as his finger has a huge imprint on it, and proceeds to say nothing to his kid. The kid snickers a little, and proceeds to comment some quip remark to his dad about it being his second time today being hit by the ball. THEN, later on, we come across a golf club cover. The kid picks it up and starts shouting at the players next to us who are trying to tee off "HEY, HEY PEOPLE, IS THIS YOUR SOCK!!!!! HEY!" ya...you don't do that in golf....even i know that. his dad just sits there sheepishly.
now you all might think im being a bit heartless on this issue, but if you think back to the time your parents busted out the wooden spoons or leather belts.....you know it made you never want to do anything bad again.
Now im not promoting child abuse by any means. No parent should abuse their rights as adults on helpless children. Im not sure why im going so gung-ho on this issue, but i feel its getting worse and worse as the years progress.
there's my two cents
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9 comments:
by all means i agree with this but you gotta also think if this guy is recently divorced or what. but okok the kid IS a brat.. you also gotta think how the guy is feelin though. could just be a guy on the rocks after a divorce and he really isnt sure about anything. he could just think that the kid not having a mom is punishment enough? or he's too stuck on his own situation to worry about his kid? not having a mom is pretty bad dont ya think.. or a single parent?
ive known a couple people without mom/dad/both so.. i guess i also see the after affects
but going back to yes "the kid IS a brat".. with the whole lobbing golf balls at people deal. anyways ya, parents nowadays are waaayy too light on their kids.. and do anything to please their kids when they go into a tantrum. i promote beating.. not beating the crap out of.. ;P. but kids are great heck dealing with all the kids in a sports center childcare for 2 years, fun times.
also you know beating also has bad side affects too, makes the child worse in many cases too.
thats.. my counter 2 cents :P
tsk tsk.. shannon. ALWAYS with the abuse ;)
I see you tommorow! Are you stoked?? hey ARE YOU??!! HUH?! ..yeah thats what I thought.
I need to talk to you, because steph wants to pick me up now at the airport (because she can't meet up on thurs now). So we need to talk and sort out details.. Like where you live now for example. ;)
I totally agree with Keira. I didn't use to think that spanking was a huge deal, until I took psychology courses back in Uni. Even if you don't view it as detrimental, why resort to spanking when a stern word or non-physical punishment can be just as effective?
One shouldn't have to resort to physical punishment to get a point across. I believe the most effective means are by setting an example to live by (not adhering to the 'do as I say, not as I do' philosophy), and stricly enforcing non-physical punishment (whatever applies, ie. phone privileges). The key isn't to give in until they learn the lesson, no matter how huge the tantrum (a mistake most parents make).. or run the risk having them turn into a huge brat.
I've seen lots of examples.. I even know of some parents where all it takes is a stern tone (not even an empty threat of a spank) and the kid behaves.
Perhaps people get so caught up in wanting to be the 'cool' parents, they forget that its their responsibility to support, lead, and educate their kids through life and into adulthood.
Anyways, my four cents. But who knows.. I'm not a parent, so of course its easy to say. :)
seems all of west canadian wants me to work for them, I've had 3 different interviews with different departments of WestCan who basically hired me on the spot. (what happened to old fassioned job interviews?!)
right up to the head boss, who even the HR lady didnt know knew me.
And Patricia, Rhea, Charity, and Nicole all work there. crrrazy
ps. psych courses at Uni. were actually REALLY interesting. I might actually finish a degree in psych some day. And i totally agree "brat-hood" starts at the early stages of being a parent, and being able to control the child then will end in good results
I agree completely with my husband (good thing, eh?).
I was spanked but whatever I was spanked for I never did again. And it wasn't abuse. It was always talked out and I was always warned. And I don't resent my parents in any way for it.
There is no excuse for disrespect like that. I would have absolutely lost it on that kid AND the parent. I mean, step up jerk face (used this term instead of more inappropriate terms - but you know what i mean) and do some parenting! Holy Cow! (again: censored)
kristy said...
tsk tsk shan, now look what you've done ;)
Its an interesting debate, thats for sure. First, I should mention that I do agree with a few of the points that Erin and Jason mentioned - namely the inability of a young child to understand highter reasoning, and the importance of a consistent and clear message when disciplining a child (whether that involves spanking or not).
Shan and I were spanked as kids - those instances being few and far between - and I also don't resent my parents for it. However, in terms of message longevity, I don't so much recall what I did wrong, as much as I remember fearing the consequence (even with an explanation). I'd argue that spanking triggers a more Pavlovian-type response - you avoid doing something not because you learned a lesson, but rather because you associate it with physical pain that may result.
Personally, and partially in retrospect, I now see spanking as detrimental and counter-intuitive. I understand (and agree) young kids may be incapable of comprehending certain principles - but as mentioned previously, why resort to a physical punishment when a non-physical punishment can be just as effective?
Ground them. Take away a favorite toy. No videogames. No dessert. For a day.. a week... a month. Whatever it takes. A parent has to choose something that effectively speaks to their child (age dependant), while making it consistent and clear why the punishment is being administered. However, as Jason mentioned, rewards are also key to teaching what is right - it provides an effective balanced structure for a child to grow up in.
At the same time, I'm not saying that if you spank your kids, you're a bad parent. I'm not a parent, and like so many things, its easy to say until you're actually in the situation. Unfortunately, children don't come with instruction manuals, so the rest is left to debate.
Lets just say, at this point, after careful thought, consideration and personal preference, I wouldn't enforce spanking with my children.
Unless he tried hitting someone with a golf ball ;)
Shan I got an email saying your gift is being sorted in Ontario, so I'm guessing you'll be getting it sometime next weekish? I'll keep you posted.
Wow this has been going on for a while so I guess I'll throw in my two cents as well. I feel I was amuch better parent before I became one, I do have a clear idea in my mind about how I want to disciplne my childern. That being said we'll have to wait and see how things play out. Grace is not even one yet and already things have worked out differently then how I pictured them.
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